The last five weeks, I have had an opportunity to study some powerful strategies and I strongly believe that they have contributed a lot to my organization. In the first week I was asked to establish my “Why” statement and I have learned in order to bring change in any organization , I need to focus on the people’s heart , then I have understood how to outline the six sources of influence to gain the desired results ,the next step was to build up a 4DX model. This model taught me how to change people’s behavior in the whirlwind of daily life. I have internalized how I can effectively execute any plans with utilizing this model. Finally, I have reflected on how I will use leadership skills I gained from” A Failure of Nerve and Crucial Conversations for my innovation plan.”
There are three components that differ the normal conversation from that crucial ones. Crucial conversations occur when opinions are vary ,stakes are high ,emotions run strong , so it is better to make a plan beforehand to avoid our conversation goes different direction than how we think. The art of conversation looks like the other arts, it requires continued practice. With every crucial conversation, we gain experience and learn how to handle problems with ease.
In their book , Crucial Conversations :Tools for talking when stakes are high ,the authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Granny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler mention that crucial conversations can happen to all of us in any part of our life. They also teach how to handle that kind of conversations. According to the book when we face with crucial conversations, our reaction becomes one of the three ways: 1-We avoid them, 2-We face them and handle them poorly, 3- We face them and handle them well” (Patterson, Granny, McMillan, Switzler, 2012).
I am a very sensitive person. I cannot hurt anybody and I cannot accept being hurt. In the past, I have had some bad experience. Because of that reason, most of the times, I prefer to avoid that type of conversations. Now in my organization, there are three people who are resistant to the homeschooling idea for different reasons. In order to get unstuck, I need to have some crucial conversations with them. If I ignore them, they may affect other team members. Therefore, I will deal with them separately.
The effective leader should address the emotionally sensitive issues. As a future leader, I will go over the eight steps of the crucial conversations. I will make a plan beforehand to avoid our conversation goes the different direction than how I think. No matter how well the conversation begins, I will stay in charge of myself, my purpose and my emotions. Before going into the conversation, I will ask some questions to myself in order to identify the conversation ,like: What is my purpose for having the conversation? What do I want to accomplish? After make, it clear I will decide my approach. If I try to prove my point, most probably they will feel unsafe, get defensive or argue with me. As humans when we feel threatened or unsafe, we use our emotional brain. In order to have healthy dialog, I will try to seek a mutual purpose and respect. Because when respect is at risk, they can be more emotional and highly charge. I will retrace my path, my emotions and get in touch with my feeling. When I feel like it’s my turn I will explain my perspective and share my story tentatively why I chose to homeschool ,how it has affected my daughter’s and my life. I will ask them what they think might work for Homeschool and listen to their stories and facts. I believe this encourages them to engage the process. I need their thoughts and input to have better planning and implementation of my innovation plan. I will try to understand their point of view , their needs, and fears. I will show that I have heard and understood them. Then I will use four efficient skills: Ask, mirror, paraphrase and prime .I will record commitments and follow them up. I will use emotions as data, not fuel.
Our world needs skillful leaders. Before beginning my master program; I have never even imagined myself as a leader of any organization. Every course has provided me new skills and self-confidence for being the effective leader. Now I believe I do not have to be a born leader in order to lead. I can build leadership skills gradually. To create and lead an organizational change one must take a stand and regulate one’s own anxiety (Friedman, 2007). If I want to be an effective leader I should control my emotions and anxiety.
Even positive changes like starting a new school, getting married, buying a house are very stressful. The reason is even when we are excited by the future possibilities, we are also anxious about the changes we face. As a change agent of my organization, I will be the person to take responsibility for my community. This is a perfect opportunity for my personal and professional growth. It will provide me the real life experience. I have the ability to make vital changes in the lives of my friends whom I interact, communicate and share the same values. It is time to change their ideas about homeschool. I know embracing change will be difficult for them as well. If I manage crucial conversations successfully, it can affect them in a positive way. They can overcome obstacles, commit themselves to a new direction and consequently amazing things can happen in their life.
Callibrain. (2015, August 20). Video review for crucial conversations by Kerry Patterson [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM&feature=youtu.be
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial Conversations- Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High (2nd ed.)
Vital Smarts India. (2012, February 10). Crucial conversations explained in 2 minutes [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixEI4_2Xivw&feature=youtu.be